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    影響一生的定律:敞開心扉,相知相識

    時間:2018-06-25 19:04:20  分類:成功哲理  閱讀:

    1. 自我暴露定律

    自我暴露定律:敞開心扉,相知相識

    自我暴露定律是指與人交往時,適度顯露出自己的弱點,人們才會覺得你真實可信,不存虛假;相反,完全把自己藏起來,就會使人感覺造作、冷酷無情。

    現實生活中,很多關系親密的朋友都通過互訴苦衷,贏得真情。我們因為跟朋友分享自己的小秘密,彼此之間更加信賴。相反,生活中有些人,表面看起來熱情奔放,卻很少跟他人掏心窩,讓人敬而遠之,故其沒有多少真正朋友。

    然而,在人際交往過程中,自我暴露要有個度,過度的暴露反而讓人反感,比如祥林嫂式的人物。自我暴露的過程要循序漸進,隨著感情的加深,情感越來越濃之時,互訴一些心事,而非剛見面的兩人聊些太過隱私的東西。

    自我暴露定律告誡我們:為人要真誠,適度表達自我。要想與別人成為知心朋友,就需表露自己的真實感情和想法,與別人用心交流,而不是把自己封閉起來。

    影響一生的定律:敞開心扉,相知相識

    2. 刻板效應

    刻板效應:記憶的刻板,害人不淺

    刻板效應是指它是指人們用刻印在自己頭腦中的關于某人或事、某一類人或事的固定印象,作為判斷和評價人或事的依據的心理現象。

    “物以類聚,人以群分”,居住在同一個地區、從事同一種職業、屬于同一個種族,人總會有一些共同的特征,因此,刻板印象一般說來都還是有一定道理的。但“人心不同,各如其面”,刻板印象畢竟只是一種概括而籠統的看法,并不能代替活生生的個體,因而“以偏概全”的錯誤總是在所難免。

    《三國演義》中曾與諸葛亮齊名的龐統去拜見孫權,“權見其人濃眉掀鼻,黑面短髯、形容古怪,心中不喜”;龐統又見劉備,“玄德見統貌陋,心中不悅”。孫權和劉備都認為龐統這樣面貌丑陋之人不會有什么才能,因而產生不悅情緒,這實際上也是刻板效應的負面影響在發生作用。

    刻板效應告誡我們:與人交往中,要進行廣泛接觸,不可以偏概全。有意識地重視和尋求與刻板效應不一樣的信息,更新觀念。要努力學習新知識,不斷擴大視野,養好良好地思維模式。

    影響一生的定律:敞開心扉,相知相識

    3. 互惠定律

    互惠定律:投我以桃,報之以李

    互惠定律是指給予就會被給予,剝奪就會被剝奪。信任就會被信任,懷疑就會被懷疑。愛就會被愛,恨就會被恨。

    愛默生曾經說過:“人生最美麗的補償之一,就是人們真誠地幫助別人之后,同時也幫助了自己。幫助別人也就是幫助自己。”

    聶政、荊軻、豫讓是《戰國策》上有名的豪俠之士。“女為悅己者容,士為知己者死”,他們為了報答他人的知遇之恩,就不惜生命、剛烈永訣,為朋友赴湯蹈火、義無反顧,他們身上體現的古代英雄節義、精神價值,永遠讓后世感佩仰慕。他們都是政治舞臺上擁有自由個性、血性勇氣的獨立戰士。

    一個永遠不肯吃虧、不肯讓步的人,即使真正得到好處,也是暫時的,他遲早要被人討厭和疏遠。得到別人的好處或好意,要及時回報,這能夠表明自己是一個知恩圖報的人,有利于相互交往的發展。

    互惠定律告誡我們:面對需要幫助的人,千萬不要吝惜自己的愛心,善待他人,把你的愛心奉獻出來。在你不經意地付出以后,也許會有意想不到的驚喜。請播撒你的愛心,讓周圍的人收獲更多的溫暖。

    影響一生的定律:敞開心扉,相知相識

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