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    搞笑短信笑話

    時間:2018-06-25 19:49:31  分類:搞笑短信  閱讀:

      龜和蛇逛公園,只有一張票,龜讓蛇纏在脖上。入園時,剪票的鷹說:站住。龜蛇慌張,鷹又說:看你那鱉樣,還打領帶呢!

      你都長大了,有些事應該讓你知道了:天,是用來刮風下雨的;地,是用來長花長草的;我,是用來證明人類是多偉大的;你是用來燉粉條的。

    在乎你的我只在乎我在乎的是是否在乎在乎你的我,我在乎的你是否和在乎你的我在乎我在乎的你一樣在乎在乎你的我,小樣兒,看暈你!

    銀行縮寫:中國建設銀行CBC(存不存)中國銀行BC(不存)中國農業ABC(啊不存)中國工商銀行ICBC(愛存不存)民生銀行CMSB(存嗎傻逼)

    懸崖上一小老鼠揮舞著短短的前爪,一次又一次跳下去努力學習飛翔,旁邊母蝙蝠看著它摔的頭破血流,憂心的說:它爹,要不告訴它,它不是咱親生的!

    傻子逛夜公園,見情侶做愛,傻子愛看。次晨見一男子練俯臥撐,傻看得目不轉睛,男子罵道:傻B你看什么?傻子樂了“你才傻呢,底下人都走了,你還干呢。

    王子被施了魔法,每年只能講一個字,他五年沒有講話,攢夠了能講五個字的時候,走到公主面前說:“公主我愛你!”,公主只說了一個字王子就暈了,公主說:“啥?”

    米飯家族和包子家族打群架:蛋炒飯,糯米團等浴血奮戰將包子家族打得落花流水,當粽子被逼到墻角時,它忍無可忍一把撕開外套高聲大喊道:我是臥底

    女傭A:“我真可憐,每天都要一直說‘是,太太;是,太太。’”

    女傭B:“我更歹命,每天都要不停地說‘不,先生;不,先生。’

    屠夫嫖娼被抓罰4000元并開收據.一日屠夫妻發現此收據,只識4000元不識‘嫖娼’二字,問屠夫:何事罰4000元?屠夫答到:罰我肉中注水!

    別理我,我很煩,剛被姑娘強奸完.我不愿,她不干,兩手握住我的蛋,強行往她窩處按,疼得我,直冒汗.急得姑娘高聲喊:大哥!快干!我自愿!!

    憨漢新娶,問母?洞房如何?母曰:聯通彼此小便處即可.漢依母言,感無趣.妻道;反復進出,移動方可,漢依妻言,頓感爽,事畢感嘆:移動就是比聯通好!!

    兩律師結婚,且都是二婚:入洞房后,女律師出上聯求下聯:夜襲珍珠港,美人受精;男的對得巧:兩顆原zhi彈,日德投降;橫批:二次大戰.

    如今貧富不平均,真是越想越傷心,想做生意沒資金,只好做鴨去掏金,服務對象老中青,不賣感情只賣精,如果顧客像猩猩,只好做愛閉眼睛.

      一臺灣人娶大陸妹為妻,新婚之夜,云雨時新郎得意說:終于進攻大陸了,新娘反駁說還不是又被包圍了!新郎大吼道金門和馬祖兩個小島還在外面哪!!

    一農夫找小姐 想讓給其吹蕭 小姐不肯 說精液太咸 農夫暴怒 仍出去五百元錢 小姐于是嬌滴滴說到 農夫山泉有點甜

    一變態狂喜歡拿硫酸潑街上的人,這天看到你,便從后面把你轉過來準備要潑,但看到你的臉后猶豫了:好象潑過了.

    一小學生被點名背出26個英語字母:a、c、d...老師問為什么沒有念到b小學生講"我媽說那是粗口"老師氣急吼:那是英國的b,不是你媽的b!

    生產隊拉魚,大魚捉完村民男女老少下塘抓小魚.水剛過腰,一村姑一手摸到男人雞 吧抓住不放,男的怒說:這條是我的!女的不示弱:生產隊的人人有份!

    你習慣向左走,我習慣向右走,緣分讓你我擦肩.左右走是偶然的,相遇是必然的.四目交匯時,我欣喜你激動.眾目睽睽,你單膝下跪對我說:老板,擦鞋?


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