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    極品搞笑短信36條

    時間:2018-06-25 19:49:37  分類:搞笑短信  閱讀:

    知道嗎?我真的是好想帶你出去體驗一下KTV的魅力啊!知道什么是KTV嗎?就是K你一頓,T你一腳,最后我再做個V的手勢耶![email protected]

    那天我看見你了,你坐在大太陽底下,好不自在,我問你在干嘛,你神秘一笑:小點聲,等我曬黑了就沒人說我是白癡!

    一群公河馬冒著被鱷魚吃掉的危險渡河向母河馬求愛,過河后,發現都被鱷魚閹掉了,唯一只幸免,那只解釋道:傻了吧誰叫你們都是蛙泳,而我是仰泳

    一天,一只干凈漂亮的小豬脖子上戴著蝴蝶結,P顛P顛跑到你面前,用崇拜的目光看著你,甩甩尾巴對你唱一首歌.....長大后我就成你!

    昨夜朋友思無數 想來想去 還是你最酷 夢里尋你千百度 驀然回首 你卻仍被拴在 人家驢棚處 殘酷! 殘酷!

    有一天,麻雀遇見一只烏鴉,麻雀問:你是啥子鳥喲?烏鴉說:我是鳳凰,麻雀說:哪有你龜兒子這么黑的鳳凰?烏鴉說:你懂個鏟鏟,老子是燒鍋爐的鳳凰.

    人生如麻將.一見鐘情是天胡.自由戀愛是地胡.媒約之言是平胡,勾引別人老公叫搶杠.和別人老公生小孩叫杠上開花,一個情人叫單吊.沒有情人叫白板?

    你偷偷進我的房,悄悄上我的床,還跟我捉迷藏,我為你失眠為你瘋狂,不得不和你捉迷藏,我知道你愛我,想吻我,想抱我,還想咬我;死蚊子!我打

    母青娃和公青娃結婚后生了一群癩蛤蟆,公青娃傷心欲絕哭著問:"你為什么背著我愛別人?"母青娃笑著回答:"我和你結婚前整過容:"

    現在為您播報天氣預報:2006年你將會遇到幸運風※愛情霧※友情露※平安霞※健康霜※美滿雷※溫馨雨※吉祥雪※金錢雹,請戴好安全帽照單全收!

    圣旨到:奉天呈運,皇帝昭曰:近日氣候多變,天氣忽冷忽熱,特頒此令,愛卿善待自己,添衣保暖,避免感冒,隨時保持快樂心情.抗旨者絕交,欽此.

    有件急事要告訴你,你要冷靜,有思想準備,有伙人新年到處找你,還說一定要逮住你,他們一個叫財神,一個叫平安,帶頭的叫幸福,別躲了…認命吧!

    要發財多念經,以后每晚要念藏經:噢嘛尼嘛尼勾麥弘…也可用英文念“ALL MONEY GO MY HOME”只要賣力干活,念經很靈的!

    深夜布什看到拉侗站立在自己床前,批頭散發,布什大驚說:你好大膽,敢闖白宮!拉侗甩了甩齊胸的胡子,陰森地笑了,說:飄柔,就是這樣自信!

    你的短信如玫瑰一樣暗藏殺機,你的話語似代數一般深不可測;這是你笑里藏刀的兇險,這是你殺人之前的征兆 于是,你有了一個雅號----玫代兇兆

    你的一笑,人類心跳,你的一嘆,世界震撼,你的一站交通癱瘓,你不打扮,都很好看,你一打扮母雞都忘了下蛋

    老婆是家,情人是花,工資給家,獎金送花,勞累想家,飽暖賞花,病了回家,好了要花,愛護這個家,惦記那支花,常回家看看,別望了澆花.

    耳朵癢嗎?那代表我在想你! 眼睛癢嗎?那代表我想見你! 嘴癢嗎?那代表我想吻你! 身體癢嗎?那代表 別瞎想了,都長虱子了,趕快洗澡去吧!

    聽說你到北方出差.在飯店你問女服務員:"摸摸(饃饃)多少錢?"她白你一眼,你沒看見又問:"睡覺(水餃)多少錢?"她一巴掌打來說:"流氓!"

    春秋戰國時代,你統領全帥,頭頂鍋蓋,身披麻袋,腰系塑料袋,手拿蛋黃派,腳踏兩棵白菜,號稱東方不敗,沖鋒時你大喊著:“誰有爛瓶爛罐拿出來賣”!

    那天晚上,你趁我熟睡后,輕輕的唱著歌來到我的床上,輕輕的撫摸了一下我的肌膚,然后一下子插進來,搞的我癢癢的.我一巴掌拍上去.死蚊子看你還叮我

    某人騎車上街.過一路口.撒把前行@交警看見.驚呼:"手掌好!"某人高興地揮手做答:"同志們辛苦了!"

    跟一個人說自己的隱私,是知己;跟一群人說自己的隱私,是白癡;跟全國人民說自己的隱私,那叫"藝術人生"!

    你國色天香萬人求.一回頭,孤魂野鬼皺眉頭二回頭千年啞巴一聲吼三回頭泰森改打乒乓球四回頭楊過愛上李莫愁五回頭萬里渤海魚不游六回頭和尚從此用飄柔

    兩只母雞從一只公雞身旁走過,其中一只說:他最近怎么總是無精打采的?另一只說:做生意累著了!第一只母雞好奇的問:賣什么?第二只嘆口氣說:雞精.

    三人比誰拉的屎形好看.第一人R形,其它二人稱贊.第二人&形,又被其它二人稱贊!第三人立體等邊三角形!其它二人巨崇拜問咋拉的?我是拉完捏的!

    如果沒有花朵,春天將會寂寞,如果沒有激情,四季將會平庸,如果沒有我,你將會失去一個最關心你的人!如果沒有你,小兔會問:我該和誰賽跑呢?

    女人在男人眼里是玫瑰花,在情人眼里是百合花,在得不到男人眼里是荷花,在得到男人眼里是黃花,在別用心男人眼里是夜來香,在愛的男人眼里是馬蘭花!

    摘2006顆星星照亮你的前程;種2006朵玫瑰迷醉你的心情;折2006個紙鶴保佑你的心愿;用2006種理由祝你2006年心想事成!

    走過了山山水水,腳下是高高低低;經歷了風風雨雨,還是要尋尋覓覓;獲得了多多少少,失去了點點滴滴;生活是忙忙碌碌,重要是開開心心!

    我知道你很忙.是做大事的人.可這不該是借口.自從你出國去了西方.己有多少年沒有回家了.常回家看看吧!高老莊這幾變化可大呢!

    雌鳥淚流滿面;雄鳥怒氣沖天的說:我跟你說過多少遍了,這個指環是鳥類研究站的人給我套上的,不是結婚戒指!我還沒有結婚!

    你快樂因為我快樂,我開心因為你開心,我愁了因為你瘦了,我瘦了因為你病了,我笑了因為你壯了,我有錢了因為把你賣了……豬啊!

    當你默默離開我時,我痛苦萬分,不知如何是好,看著你的背影遠去,我恨自己,都是我的錯……早起一點就趕上車了。

    你一閃而過,令我熱血沸騰,心潮澎湃,望著你的背影,真想把你留住,我告訴自己,不能再讓你離開,絕不……抓賊啊!

    從20樓摔到地面和從2樓摔下的區別
    20樓: 啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊~~~~啪!
    2樓 : 啪!~啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊

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